if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
