i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
