I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize