Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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