I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
