who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
