When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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