If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
