Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
