I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
