great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize