True but thats because hes a fetus.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I lost the right to judge tonight
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
