The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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