Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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