on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
