he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
