thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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