The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why do cheetos always look like penises
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
