Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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