It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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