Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
