What a fucking waste of an outfit
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
