That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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