But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I believe in your delicious
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
