This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
