i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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