Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
being pregnant is like rehab
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
