Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
