one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
