She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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