i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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