so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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