No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
