I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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