Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
