I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
