Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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