ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
