So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
