Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
