the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
