So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize