I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
