And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
COCAINE IS GR8
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
