NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
