I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
