Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
