Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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