Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
