just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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