Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
