He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
