Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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