i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
