Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
