We're facebook friends in real life
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Still dying that you shit outside
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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