My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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