covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
