I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
