What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
