I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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