you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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