she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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