Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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