Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
