I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize