She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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