So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Enjoy the penises
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
