I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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