omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
