Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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