I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
