return my video game
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
