We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
