Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize