i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
